I've always been stupidly settling for 'second best' ... what I thought could grow to become love. People whom I cared for, but didn't make my heart flutter.
I'm not talking about your usual butterflies-in-your-tummy ...
I'm speaking of the burst of hope that flutters in your tummy and makes your whole body tingle. When you know in that moment, that you're in love.
I have always been searching for it ... but in all my quests, I never found it. :( As time flew by, I began to think that maybe ... maybe it just wasn't for me. Maybe what I felt with all these guys were IT ... I just didn't see it.
... all it took was one person to make me believe that I could find love. Someday. :)
"Hey, the world is ending!", he joked. "What would be the perfect way to spend your final days?"
'Getting to know you,' I almost blurted out. Almost.
My breathe caught in my throat and I thought 'okay ... thank God I didn't say that'. I stole a glance at him and I thought 'his eyes are smiling ... I'm not swooning over them or anything, but wow. He is happy, inside out. He is beautiful, inside and out.'
In this person's eyes, soul and engaging spirit ...
I knew there and then that I was capable of love. :p Unlike what I've always thought.
It was in your dark eyes that I found my ability to laugh at every nonsensical again.
I don't want to go into details, but no, there is no happy ending here. (story of my life, har har)
I'm just very happy and I feel very blessed to have an experience as precious as this. :) I'm so glad it wasn't sexual.
I guess I wouldn't want to keep in close contact with you ... because you'll always be 'too perfect' to me. You'd be the epitome of the 'happy ending' I never had.
Still, I'm happy to have met you.
Someday I'll get over this ... it's become strangely repetitive for me, how I manage to 'jump' out of things and heal pretty fast,
but you know ... just know that once upon a time, you made my dreams come true.
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